Ya gotta have friends

I received a lovely comment from my friend Ann when she read my last post...reminding me that our friendship came to be as a gift of infertility. Oh yeah, that was one of the biggest gifts. Ann, Lisa and Marie are listed as "IFbuds" on my e-mail address book--not "IF" as in maybe the friendship is 'iffy' but as in 'Infertility Focus'. We all were pursuing medical treatments when we met and we kept each other company through those tortures, and then through the journey of becoming adoptive parents. Ann's friendship brought another precious gift to me, the lead that become our son Joseph. His biological grandmother is a close friend of Ann's from high school. It's a very special bond.
An infertility support group. The kind of club no one really wants to be a member of, and that you're always one menstrual cycle away from quitting. Yet how very blessed I was to find these women, and to keep them as friends.
I read an article in the NY Times magazine section a while back that contained some interesting comments on modern friendships. The woman who wrote the article was commenting on the television show 'Sex and the City'--her take on what was a fantasy about the four women's lives was not about how many men they had, but on how much time they had to spend on their friendship! She talked about how difficult it is to make new friendships, once you are out of college and the kind of world where you can sit around chatting and learning about each other for hours on end. I always thought I felt so close to my college friends because we "grew up" together, came of age together. Looking back, I realize we had a lot of time to share with each other. Adult friendships don't have that luxury, and frankly, they take a lot of work.
I really admire my friends who actively work at developing and maintaining their friendships. Nancy is at the top of that list. She is incredibly thoughtful, and she works at staying connected with her friends. It comes straight from her heart.
Isn't it great when your friend calls you up just to say hi? What a great luxury to pour a cup of coffee, and launch into a story over the phone with your good buddy who is really interested in the intensity of the hot flash you had this morning.
I'll save that story for when I can talk to you about it. Put the coffee on, and make it strong.